I turn around and appeared Tyler.
"You downloaded it?" Asked Tyler.
no noise, no smell, Tyler has appeared as well.
"First of all," Tyler says, and leaps from the doorway of the kitchen
to rummage in the fridge. "First we have
to melt the fat."
About my boss, Tyler says, if I'm really angry
I should go to the post office to fill out a form
change of address and send him
all mail to Rugby, North Dakota.
Tyler begins to pull out bags of frozen white stuff
and throws them in the sink. Meanwhile, I
I should put on the stove a pot full of water almost completely
. Too little water and the fat will darken and
produces tallow.
"This fat," Tyler says, "has a lot of salt,
therefore more water, the better."
Put the fat in water and boil the water.
Tyler squeezes the white stuff in the water from the bags and
then Tyler buries the empty bags in the bottom of the dustbin.
"Use a little 'imagination," Tyler says. "Remember all that crap from
pioneers that we have
taught in Boy Scouts. Remember your chemistry classes in high school. "
It's hard to imagine Tyler in Boy Scouts.
Another thing I can do, Tyler tells me, you go home at night
of my head to attach a barrel to
outside tap. Attach the barrel to pump
hand and shoot in the plumbing of his house a good deal
dyeing industry. Red or blue or green. Then, the
days later, I see that color is my boss. Or
I can sit behind the fence to pump
a hand pump to bring the pipes to a pressure
more than eight kilograms per square centimeter.
In this way when someone does the water run
of water, the tank the water blows. Ten kilograms
if someone opens the shower, the pressure
blows up the onion, the tears away from the thread,
barn, onion turns into a mortar shell.
Tyler says these things just to make me feel better.
The truth is that my boss is good. And now as
are now illuminated. You know, just
Buddha-style behavior. Hari Rama, you know, Krishna, Krishna. You know,
Illuminated.
"It's not because you figs
pens in the ass it becomes a chicken" Tyler says.
Gradually, the fat melts the tallow rises to the surface
boiling water.
Oh, I say, so I shove pens up your ass. As if this
Tyler here with cigarette burns
that the rise in procession along the arms
soul was so evolved. Mr. and Mrs. Clean
of Human Ass. I calm my face and I become
one of those people with the face of Hindu cow slaughter
go on the table of airlines
with the procedure for emergencies.
Down with the fire under the pot.
stir the boiling water.
tallow continue to rise until the water is covered with a layer color
nacre. Using a large spoon to skim
the water and put this layer
aside.
So, I ask, how is Marla?
"At least Marla is trying to touch the bottom," says Tyler
.
stir the boiling water.
Continue skimming until it was over tallow.
This foaming water is tallow. Excellent tallow
clean.
Tyler says that I'm not even close to having
hit bottom. And if I fall completely
can not be saved. Jesus did with his
story of the crucifixion. I should not limit myself to
leave the money, all my belongings and my
knowledge. This is not just a weekend retreat.
I should be separated and should dall'automiglioramento
thrown headlong toward disaster. I can not continue
to play it safe.
This is not a seminar.
"If you lose heart before he hit rock bottom '
Tyler says," it'll never make it real. "
Only after disaster can we be resurrected.
"It's only after you've lost everything," Tyler says, "
you're free to do anything."
What I feel is premature enlightenment.
"and keep stirring," Tyler says.
When the fat is boiled enough because there is more
tallow on the surface, throw away the water. I wash
pot and fill with clean water.
ask, but I'm getting close to the bottom?
"Where are you now," Tyler replied, "not you can not even imagine how
the bottom. "
is repeated with the foam tallow. Boil the tallow in the water.
It continues to froth and foam. "The fat
we are using is full of salt," says Tyler. "Too
salt and soap is frozen solid." Boil and lather.
Bolli and lather.
Marla is back. The second
Marla opened the door.
Tyler went away, vanished, fled the room and disappeared.
Tyler climbed upstairs or down in the cellar.
Puff.
Marla enters through the back door with a can of lye into flakes
.
"At the store they recycled toilet paper
hundred per cent ' Marla announced. "It must be the worst job of
worldwide recycle toilet paper."
I take the can of lye and laid on the table.
I say nothing.
"Can I stay here tonight?" Marla asks.
I do not answer. Account in the head: five syllables, seven, five
.
The tiger snake you ride
The lure
Malo spirit
Marla asks, "What do you cook?".
I am the boiling point of Tom.
I say go, go, go, go. Got it?
you have not already taken a big enough slice of my life? Marla
grabs me by the arm and immobilizes me for the second
she needs to kiss on the cheek. "Call me, please
. Please. We need to talk. "
I say yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
When Marla is out, Tyler reappears. Quick
like a magic trick. My
did this spell for five years. I
stamp and foam while Tyler makes room in the fridge. The steam
divide the air layer and the water drips from the ceiling of the kitchen
. The forty-watt bulb
hidden in the bottom of the fridge, something bright
that does not make me see behind the empty ketchup bottles and
jars of pickles in brine or mayonnaise, some tiny light inside the fridge
illuminate the profile of
Tyler.
stamp and foam. Stamp and foam. I put the foam
tallow in milk cartons with the top torn
from side to side.
with a chair placed beside an open fridge, Tyler watches the tallow
it cools. In the heat of the kitchen
clouds of cold fog escape from the bottom of the fridge and fill
a puddle around the feet of Tyler.
I fill the milk cartons with tallow and Tyler
puts them in the fridge.
I kneel in front of Tyler in front of the fridge and
Tyler takes my hands and show them to me. Life Line.
The line of love. The mountains of Venus and Mars. The
cold fog envelops us, the small light illuminates the dim
we face.
"I need you do me another favor," Tyler says.
Marla got to do this once, right?
"Do not you ever talk to me. You do not have to ever talk about me behind my back
. I swear? "Asked Tyler.
I swear.
"If you ever speak of me with you, I do not see more," Tyler says.
I swear.
"I swear?"
I swear.
"Now remember," Tyler says, "are three times that I've
the juror."
A layer of something thick and transparent form
you go over the tallow in the fridge.
The tallow, I say, is being separated.
"Fear not," Tyler says. "The clear layer is glycerin. You can mingle
glycerin, when you make soap.
Or you can pull it off. "
Tyler licked his lips and hands
turns me on palms down on his thigh, on a strip of sticky
flannel robe of his.
"You can mix the glycerin with nitric acid to
make nitroglycerin," Tyler says.
I breathe with my mouth open and say, nitroglycerine.
Tyler becomes wet and shiny lips with his tongue
and kisses me on the back of the hand.
"You can mix nitroglycerin with sodium nitrate and sawdust to make dynamite
" Tyler says. His kiss
shines wet on the back of my hand
white.
Dynamite, I say and sit on your heels. Tyler Barefoot
the lid of the can of lye.
"You can make blow up the bridges, "Tyler says.
"You can mix nitroglycerin with more nitric acid and paraffin
and then blasting gelatin" Tyler says.
"You can blow up a building," Tyler says. "How
nothing."
Tyler tilts the can of lye to a couple of fingers from
wet kiss on his shiny back of my hand
.
"This is a chemical burn," Tyler says, "and will
bad dog like you've never tried.
worse than a brand. "
His kiss sparkles on the back of my hand.
"I will remain a scar," Tyler says.
"If you have enough soap," Tyler says, "you can blow up in the air
the whole world. Now remember your oath.
"
And Tyler pours lye.
Saliva Tyler has had two effects. The moisture content of
kiss on the back of my hand he held the scales of
lye while burning. This was the first effect.
The second was that the lye burns
only when combined with water. Or with the saliva.
"This is a chemical burn," Tyler said, "and will
bad dog like you've never tried."
lye can be used to open clogged pipes.
Close your eyes.
A mixture of lye and water can open a hole in an aluminum pan
.
A solution of lye and
water is able to dissolve a wooden spoon.
Combined with water, lye
of nearly one hundred degrees and heats it burns the back of my hand and I
Tyler puts his fingers on his fingers, our hands open on my
pants stained with blood, and Tyler says to pay attention
because this is the most important moment of my life
.
"Because everything was so far has a story"
Tyler says, "and everything there after is a story."
This is the most important moment of our lives.
The lye that I was stuck in the exact form of the kiss of
Tyler is a fire or an iron
mark or a fusion of atomic nuclei
on my hand at the end of a long, long way that I imagine
miles from me. Tyler tells me to go back and stay with him.
My hand goes away, and tiny horizon
down the road.
Watch the fire continues to burn, just over the horizon
now. A sunset.
«Back to the pain," Tyler says.
This is the kind of guided meditation using the
support groups.
Do not even think the word pain.
If the guided meditation works for cancer, can
work for this.
"Look at your hand," Tyler says.
not looked at his hand. Do not think
the word or meat or skin burn or sting.
not hear you cry.
Guided Meditation.
're in Ireland. Close your eyes.
're in Ireland the summer after you left the university and
're drinking in a pub near the castle where day after day
coaches churn out troops and British tourists
Americans have come to kiss the Blarney Stone.
"Do not estrange," Tyler says, "the soap
human sacrifice and come together."
Let the pub in a torrent of men, walking
nell'imperlato silence and wet roads where vehicular
has just rained. It is night. Until you get to the castle
the Blarney Stone.
The floors of the castle are rotten and you climb the stairs
rock with the black that is becoming more dense here and there to
of each lift. All in the rise and fall silent
in the tradition of this small act of rebellion.
"Listen," Tyler says. "Open your eyes."
"In ancient history," Tyler says, "
human sacrifices were celebrated on a hill above a river.
thousands of people. Listen to me. They made sacrifices and
bodies were cremated on a pyre.
"You can cry," Tyler says. "You can go to the sink
to make you run water on hand, but first you need to know
you're stupid and you will die. Look at me.
"Someday," Tyler says, "you will die and you will not know until
this, to me are useless. "
You are in Ireland.
"You can cry," Tyler says, "but every tear that falls
in flakes of lye on your skin will leave you burn
of a burn."
Guided Meditation. You are in Ireland the summer after you left college
and perhaps this is where for the first time
you want anarchy. Years before I met Tyler Durden
, before he peed for the first time in
crème anglaise, have learned little acts of rebellion.
In Ireland.
You are on a platform at the top of the stairs in a castle.
"You can use the vinegar," Tyler says, "to neutralize the
burn, but first you have to give up. "
After hundreds of people were sacrificed and
cremated, says Tyler, top and slipped out a thick white discharge
which fell into the River.
Before you touch the bottom.
're on a platform in a castle in Ireland
bottomless darkness all around the edge of the platform
and in front of you, an arm of the darkness away,
there is a stone wall.
"Rain," Tyler says, "has fallen year after year
burnt on the pyre and burn people year after year
and rain seeped through the wood ashes to become
a solution of lye and lye
is combined with the melted fat of the sacrifices and a thick white discharge
soap is leaking from the base of the altar
and fell into the river. "
And Irish men around you with their little act of rebellion
darkness, approaching the edge of the platform and
stop at the edge of darkness without
bottom and piss. And men say
ahead, piss your piss special
American sumptuous and yellow too many vitamins.
Sumptuous and expensive and thrown away.
"This is the most important moment of your life"
Tyler says, "and you're gone elsewhere and you're losing it.
"
're in Ireland.
Oh, and you're there you do. Oh, yes. Yes, and you smell ammonia
and daily dose of B-complex
Where the soap fell into the river, says Tyler,
after a thousand years of killing people and rain, the old
have found that their clothes were cleaner if they washed
there.
I'm pissing on the Blarney Stone.
"Shit," Tyler says.
I'm pissing in my pants
blacks with flecks of dried blood that the stomach, my head.
You are in a rented house on Paper Street.
"This means something," Tyler says.
"This is a sign," Tyler says.
Tyler is full of useful information. In cultures without soap, says
Tyler, used their urine and the urine of their dogs
for washing clothes and hair because of uric acid and ammonia
.
It smells like vinegar and fire on hand at the bottom of
long way off. There is the fire of lye burns
you forked the cavity of the nose and the smell of vomit
hospital piss and vinegar.
"burps was right to kill those people," Tyler says. You
the back of his hand swollen and red and shiny as
a pair of lips in the exact form of the kiss of Tyler.
Scattered around the kiss are the burning of tears
someone.
"Open your eyes," Tyler says, and his face is shiny
tears. "Congratulations," Tyler says. "You
a step closer to the bottom.
"You see," Tyler says, "as it is manufactured using the first
soap heroes."
Think of the animals used to test some kind of products.
Think about the monkeys shot into space.
"Without their death, their pain, without their sacrifice," Tyler says, "we would not be nothing."
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