The security authorities have not explained myself well.
The baggage handlers can ignore a ticking suitcase
. The security, he called the baggage handlers
launchers. The bombs are ticking
not modern. But a suitcase that vibrates, the baggage handlers,
pitchers, that's should call the police.
How is it that I ended up living with Tyler
is because of this policy adopted by virtually every airline baggage
that vibrate.
On my return trip from Dulles
what I had everything in that one bag. When you travel a lot to learn
imbagagliare the same stuff every time. Six white shirts
. Two blacks pants. The
absolutely minimal essential to survival.
travel alarm clock.
Electric shaver with rechargeable batteries.
toothbrush.
Six pairs of underpants.
Six pairs of black socks.
turns out, the departure from Dulles, that my suitcase was vibrating
, according to security, so the police
has pulled down. There was everything in that bag. The nécessaire
for my contact lenses. A red tie with blue stripes
. A blue tie with red stripes.
These are regimental stripes, not rows club. And a shirt
all red.
Once I kept a list of all these things
hung on the door of my room at home.
My home was an apartment on the fifteenth floor of a skyscraper
, a sort of archive
for widows and young professionals. The promotional leaflet guaranteed
two spans of concrete between me and any stereo or TV blaring
beyond my floors, ceilings and walls
. Two spans of concrete and air conditioning
, so you could not open the windows, and
complete with parquet maple
variable intensity and switches to the last cubic centimeter air-tight
stank last meal you had last
cooked or gone to the bathroom.
Yes, and there were plans in solid and spot lights low voltage
. However
two spans of concrete are important
when your neighbor is without draining the battery of
his hearing aid and must make the most of
TV volume to follow his games with prizes.
Or when a volcanic burst of incandescent gas
full of debris that were once your furniture and your belongings
explodes through the windows of your house
leaving your studio, only yours,
reduced to a blackened hole in the facade of the skyscraper.
Everything, including your service
blown green glass dishes by hand with all those small
small bubbles and imperfections, the grains of sand, proof of
be the work of the honest, simple, hard working craftsmen
indigenous who knows where, well, 'all these dishes
crushed by the blast. Imagine the curtains of the windows
fly out to unfold in the wind-driven fire
hot.
Fifteen stories above the city and
this stuff that goes down like lava, ash and lapilli
to spread over all the parked cars.
I, as I fly to the west, asleep
at Mach 0.83 or 455 miles per hour, relative speed, with the FBI to examine bomb
my suitcase on a runway at Dulles
deserted. Nine times out of ten said that the security
, the vibration is an electric razor. This is the
my electric shaver with rechargeable batteries. Another time
is a vibrating dildo.
This guy told me the security.
This was my destination, without the suitcase,
when I was about to take a taxi and go home to
find my flannel sheets shredded on the pavement.
Imagine, says that of security,
going to tell a passenger on arrival that his luggage
remained on the East Coast because of a dildo. And
sometimes happens with the male passengers. It is the policy of the airline
not go into the specific
property in the event of a dildo. You use the indefinite article.
a dildo.
Mai-on dildo.
that no one ever escape to tell the lady came on board
with a dildo.
A dildo is put into operation, giving rise to a
emergency situation that required the discharge of
his luggage.
It was raining when I woke up in Stapleton
for my chance.
It was raining when I woke up at delratterraggio
home.
An announcement has invited us to take this opportunity
to check near the seat of our
have not forgotten any of your personal belongings. Then
the announcement made my name.
I was kindly asked to speak with a representative of the company
air that awaited me at the gate.
I brought my watch back three hours after midnight and was still
.
There was the representative of the airline at the gate and there was
as safety to tell me, ah, his electric razor
blocked his luggage at Dulles. What
security called the baggage handlers Lanciateri. Then he called them
rampant.
to let me know that it could have been worse, he told me that at least
was not a dildo. Then, perhaps because I am
male and he is male and one o'clock at night, perhaps to
make me laugh, told me that those in the profession call the flight attendants
Waiter Space. O
Air Mattresses. He seemed to wear a uniform
pilot, white shirt and tie with small shoulder pads
blue. My luggage was in place, he said, and would
arrived the next day.
The security man asked me
name and address and telephone number, then asked me
difference between a condom and a plane.
"In a condom we enter one dickhead"
said.
I took a taxi to go home
using my last ten dollars.
The police had done a lot of questions.
My electric shaver, which was not a bomb, was
more in three time zones from me.
Something that was a bomb, a big bomb had destroyed my original tables
Njurunda shaped
of yin and yang orange color green lizard from
fit together to form a circle.
were now a pile of splinters. My living room
Haparanda with orange lining, signed by Erika
Pekkari, was a pile of garbage.
And I was not the only slave to my nesting instinct.
People I Know, which had gone to sit in
bathroom with a pornographic magazine, now goes to
sit in the bathroom with an Ikea catalog. We all have the same chair
Johanneshov
with the same design Strinna striped green. My
has plummeted fifteen storeys, burning, into a fountain. We all have the same lamps
Rislampa / Har
built with wire and paper label, non-bleached.
Mine are confetti.
All those sessions in the bathroom. At
The cutlery. Stainless steel. Proof
dishwasher. Vild hall clock from
, galvanized steel, oh, I could not
less hunger. The console with shelves
Klipsk, oh, yes. The hat
Hemlig. Yes
all stuff that littered the streets glistened in the
my skyscraper. My
parure Mommala coordinated. Designed by Tomas
Harila and available as follows:
Violet.
Fuchsia.
Cobalt.
Ebony.
Anthracite.
Milk white or burgundy.
a lifetime to buy this stuff. My
tables from Kalix fine polish for special occasions. My
tables nest.
buy furniture. You tell yourself, this is the couch
of my life. Buy the sofa, then for a couple of years you
pleased at the thought that everything would go wrong, at least you have solved the problem
couch. Then the right service
of dishes. Then the perfect bed. Tents. The rug.
Then you're trapped in your lovely nest, and things
that time had, now have you.
Until I got home from the airport.
goalkeeper emerges from the shadows to say that there was a
accident. The police have been here and done a lot of questions
.
The police think may have been gas. Maybe you
is off the pilot flame or a hot
remained open and the gas has reached the ceiling, and gas filled
the apartment from top to bottom, room by room.
When all the rooms were full, he left the
compressor in the back of the refrigerator.
Blast.
The windows in aluminum frames and so exploded in flames
sofas and lamps and dishes and sheets, via
high school yearbooks and diplomas and the phone. All
shot from the fifteenth floor in a sort of explosion
solar.
Oh, not my fridge. I have collected on shelves shelves
mustard, some minced in a mortar, some
style English pub. There were fat-free salad dressings
in fourteen different flavors and seven kinds of capers
.
I know, I know, a house full of condiments and no food
true.
goalkeeper has blown his nose and something ended up in her handkerchief
pop sound with a sure grip
in the glove of the receiver.
You could go up to the fifteenth floor, said
goalkeeper, but no could enter the apartment.
Order of Police. The police had asked if I had
a former girlfriend who had sworn me to be so far-
me a thing or if I had brought some
enemy who had access to dynamite.
"It was not worth climbing," said the goalkeeper. "It was
only the shell of concrete."
The police did not rule out the fraud. None
had smelled gas. The doorman raises an eyebrow. This
spent his time spinning the maids and nurses who worked in
large apartments on the top floor and sitting in chairs waiting for their atrium
descended in the elevator after work. Three years
I lived there and every night I found the door
sitting reading his Ellery Queen while I was turning
stock and barrel to open the door.
goalkeeper raises an eyebrow and says that some people
he goes on a long trip and leave the house
a candle, a candle long long, come on,
among a pool of gasoline. They are people with financial difficulties
to do things like that. People looking for a way to wriggle out from under
.
I asked him to let me use the phone atrium.
"A lot of young people seeking to impress the world includes
this and that," said the goalkeeper. 10
I called Tyler. 11
phone rang in the house that Tyler had
rent in Paper Street.
Oh, Tyler, I beg you, please reply.
And the phone rang.
goalkeeper is facing me on the shoulder and says:
"A lot of young people do not know what they really want."
Oh, Tyler, please, save me.
And the phone rang.
"Young people think they want the whole world."
Deliver me from Swedish furniture.
Deliver me from the artistic and functional.
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